Car Mechanics
revised: I took auto mechanics classesat night, leaning over the spent enginelike a surgeon bending over an open chest. To this daywhenever my car sputters or coughs I take it to a garage, the look on...
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sorry--we were cross-posting. you could always add a comma, after hood. That might provide enough of a slowing to suggest the space is doing its own work. I don't know. I honestly don't think it...
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Lots of things to lean on/over when working on a car engine: Grill, fender, fender cover, fender blanket, radiator . . . Grill has a nice sound to it and verisimilitude as well... Love the poem. Used...
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bob, pleonasm is a literary device --- a great tool if used; an eyesore when abused.... [some pleonastic abuse as an eg: "That's indicative that it wasn't pointed out to James that, that 'that' in his...
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Thanks, abujabri, for your ideas. As always, you have interesting suggestions to consider. Best
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Hi Bob I enjoyed this poem which presents two vignettes about a man's relationship to automobiles: at a younger stage in life, when he is learning auto mechanics, and later in life when he takes his...
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"grill" for me utterly spoils the poem. Everything I said about it is no longer valid. It also gives a very strange 'flavour' to the 'child' needing the surgeon, no pun intended. ( burgers and such. ....
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Hi again Bob I am also not fussy about "grill." Why not "engine" or some other mechanical automotive term? Hood was not exactly right but grill doesn't quite do it either. My two cents. Chris
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I think I have a solution! "engine block" I LOVED hood, but I recognize people don't see what I see, and "engine" was so ho-hum (I hated to see "hood" go) while "engine block" keeps a lot of the...
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hmm. I worked in a garage as a kid. My second job. (The first one was washing cars in the adjacent car wash. Now that was a miserable job.) In the garage, I pretty much did everything from pump gas to...
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Terry, I like your idea of 'stricken engine'. Thanks! Thanks to everyone for their input, especially Osei who has been so kind to my poems.
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Bob, be sure to add any edited version to the IBPC thread, if it's chosen to go. "stricken engine" shows promise.
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Bob, I like "spent engine." And Alison (Osel), if you are reading this, I realize now that I came down like a ton of __(fill in your desired heavy substance here)__ on your "engine block" notion....
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I very much like "leaning over the spent engine," good to have such sound and sense early in the poem. I think the simile of mechanic and doctor is a bit tired. (Maybe I just continue to react to the...
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I suppose to a poet an engine and its constituent component parts are much like a fitter's understanding of abstract poetry
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Bob, Missed this the first time it came around. Enjoyed it. I think the tinkering you've done works. I like 'spent engine'--and I like the tinkering that went into this. Like a mechanic working under...
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